Inseminoid (1981)

Director: Norman J. Warren
Elite DVD OOP

Well I thought I'd start this off with a bang of mediocrity and this was the first movie I watched after I decided to start on this project, so...

Inseminoid is a completely fresh and original concept. Sometime in the distant future, a group of space miners come across an alien that impregnates humans. The cast is full of strong female characters, wait, what? Alien you say? Oh yeah, this is a blatant rip-off of Alien, my mistake. But don't let that deter you. There's a strong tradition of "borrowing" heavily from successful genre films, it's just usually an Italian production. While it doesn't have the production value or Giger alien design that it's predecessor had, it's not an altogether unpleasant viewing experience. There's almost nothing in the way of exposition happening here, which is a good thing. We are just thrown right in to the story with an explosion happening to three of the miners and one of them going comatose after grabbing some crystals that ate through his glove. He then gets the Space Madness and starts to killin'! But Stephanie Beacham will have none of that and takes care of him with some sort of space gun, or nail gun. Before anyone can take stock of what's happening, Judy Geeson gets impregnated by E.T.'s d-bag cousin using a clear tube and some Hordak slime. This gives Geeson the Space Madness and she goes on a slaughter spree of her own, even taking out Victoria Tennant with a pair of scissors in the movie's bloodiest scene (and the scene most watched by Steve Martin). This is where we veer far from Alien territory, at least in theme, as the remaining crew is terrorized not by the alien, but by a pregnant woman. And for those you who have lived with a pregnant woman, ha ha ha... just kidding (sorry dear). After killing off most of the crew, she gives birth to twin rubber alien babies that are hungry for humans! The positives here are the complete lack of explanation, of everything! We learn absolutely nothing about the characters, relationships, alien origin, you name it. It's actually really refreshing and the cast plays off the shenanigans with a straight face. Warren pulls off a few cool compositions and downbeat tone even with the film being overlit.
The DVD on Elite is now out of print but is easily available at Amazon. It's a good deal if you pick it up in the "British Horror Collection Set" because even though the entire set is OOP, the set sells for cheaper than the discs do individually. Features wise, you're looking at nothing except the trailer. The film is presented in it's original aspect ratio of 2.35:1 (non-anamorphic) and looks just fine. It has been released under the title Horror Planet but I believe this is the only scope version available in the U.S.

if I decide to go with a ratings system, ummmm
5 /10